


A Day in the... Life?

by carefully_crafted_cliches



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Psychics/Psionics, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Ghost!Phil, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychic Abilities, Supernatural Elements, phil is a ghost but its not necessarily a SAD thing, psychic!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carefully_crafted_cliches/pseuds/carefully_crafted_cliches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in the... er, life of Dan and his ghost boyfriend, Phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day in the... Life?

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on [my tumblr](http://sexuallyambiguousphan.tumblr.com/post/132292186480/a-day-in-the-life) on Halloween but never posted it here. So now I'm post a ghostly story in... January.
> 
> This is based on a dream I had in early October 2015 (although the dream was obviously disjointed and made very little sense, it did involve ghost!phil and psychic!dan, at my old high school for some reason buying seance candles from a vending machine.....)

“Was banishing him to the deepest pits of hell really necessary, Dan?” Phil tried to keep his tone admonishing, but his eyes sparkled in poorly-concealed amusement.

“He was a demon!” Dan said indignantly. “Of course it was necessary!”

“He was a poltergeist and you know it,” Phil corrected, rolling his eyes. “Nothing more than an annoyance.”

“Well maybe I didn’t want to be annoyed today,” Dan snapped as he collected the ritual candles he’d used minutes before to banish that  _fucking asshole_  of poltergeist.

Phil’s lips stretched into a teasing smirk. “And you’re sure your overreaction had nothing to do with the fact that he was hitting on me?”

Dan reached out to slap his boyfriend’s shoulder, but of course his hand went right through it. It was the thought that counted, anyway. “Shut up,” he muttered. “That had nothing to do with it, I was just doing my job.”

“Your blush says otherwise.”

Damn it! Why did he have to be alive? It was so much easier for Phil to lie – he didn’t have blood in his cheeks to give him away. Not for the first time, Dan wondered why the hell he was dating a ghost.

“Does it really matter why I banished him to hell? It’s done now, can we just move on?”

“We can as soon as you admit you were jealous,” Phil taunted, and Dan sent him a fierce glare – though it was made slightly less intimidating by the still very evident blush on his cheeks.

“I’ll admit I was jealous of that annoying excuse for a poltergeist when  _you_  admit you were the one who haunted PJ’s flat for a week because you were convinced he was flirting with me.”

“It’s not like it worked, anyway!” Phil protested with an admittedly adorable pout. “He  _liked_  the idea of having a haunted apartment.” In fact, he’d excitedly called to tell Dan about an idea he had for a short film inspired by all the strange happenings around his flat. “And he was  _definitely_  flirting with you.”

Now it was Dan’s turn to role his eyes. “Whatever you say,” he replied indulgently. “But we’re done here now,” he just barely stopped himself from sneering at the burn on the floor where that flirty poltergeist stood – er, floated – only minutes before. “Let’s get home.”

~*~*~

If someone were to guess where a psychic boy and the ghost he loved might meet, they would probably say a decrepit, haunted house, or maybe a cemetery. They’d be wrong on both counts. Dan and Phil had actually met in a park.

Dan had been a medium for as long as he could remember, and he didn’t think of his gift as anything special. It was more of an annoyance than anything. Turns out, spirits who are unable to move on don’t make the best company.

That was why Dan liked going to the park. As parks were often filled with people walking their dogs, and dogs sensed and  _did not_  like ghosts, ghosts tended to avoid them. Even spirits didn’t enjoy getting yapped at by obnoxious Pomeranians, apparently. The park was a refuge for Dan, one of the rare places he could be completely free of the supernatural beings that seemed to invade every other aspect of his life.

And so he was understandably annoyed when a pale, black-haired ghost decided to start spending time at the very same park. This was his safe space, damn it. Why in the world would a ghost hang around a park filled with dogs?

As he soon realised, that was the ghost’s entire reason for being there – dogs. The strange spirit had a seemingly pathological desire to pet every dog he saw.

It never turned out well for him – the dogs would growl and bark at him, and his hand would pass straight through their heads (further upsetting the poor animals). Still, he tried, and Dan watched, both amused and bemused by this odd ghost.

After weeks of watching the ghost try and fail to pet every dog that passed through the park, Dan decided to speak up. He didn’t usually  _willingly_  communicate with the spirits he saw, but he was curious about this one. “I don’t know why you bother,” he said, leaning against a tree, holding a book, but looking straight at the ghost. “Dogs don’t like ghosts.”

“Are you talking to me?” the ghost asked, eyes wide.

“Do you see any other departed souls at this park? Because I certainly don’t.”

“You can  _see_  me?”

“Clearly,” Dan replied in a flat voice. “Have you never met a medium before?”

“No, I haven’t,” the ghost admitted, suddenly looking quite excited. “I’ve heard others talk about them, but I haven’t met one until now.” He floated closer, and Dan angled his head up to keep eye contact. “I’m Phil, it’s nice to meet you.” He stuck out his hand, as if offering a handshake, and Dan simply stared at it.

“Er… I’m Dan. But… you know just because I can see you and speak to you doesn’t mean I can touch you,” Dan said after a long, awkward pause.

Phil quickly pulled back his hand. “Oh, right, I’m sorry. I sometimes forget about that part of being dead.”

“Clearly,” he scoffed. “Otherwise you would have given up on petting all those dogs weeks ago.”

“I’ve been trying for years, actually.” Phil huffed out a nervous laugh and then rubbed with back of his neck. He looked sort of  - well, Dan had never thought of a ghost as adorable before, and yet…

“That’s how you’ve been spending your afterlife?” Dan gaped. “Pissing off dogs?”

“I’m not trying to upset them!” Phil protested. “I just want to pet them!”

Dan stared at the ghost floating before him until Phil started fidget under the scrutiny. “What is it?” he finally asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are the strangest ghost I’ve ever met.”

“Well you’re not exactly normal either, now are you?”

~*~*~

After that, Dan had quickly grown fond of the odd ghost, and soon Phil was basically living (could he really _live_  anywhere though?) in Dan’s apartment and the two were inseparable.

Dan never thought he’d fall in love with a dead boy, but he did, and he accepted this with only a few existential crises, which he was rather proud of.  _Should_  he be proud of easily accepting the fact that the love of his life was not, in fact, alive? Maybe not, but Phil hadn’t been wrong when he pointed out Dan’s abnormality.

As it turned out, Phil liked him back, and they began dating as if they were any normal couple. Well, they didn’t go out to dinner often, or at all, but Dan had always been a homebody anyway so he didn’t particularly mind, and besides, Phil was brilliant. Nerdy and funny and smart and beautiful and caring and gentle and  _so alive_ , more so than Dan had ever been. He was happy just being in Phil’s presence.

~*~*~

“Phil, stop, you’re upsetting the dog,” Dan whispered harshly. He and Phil were currently waiting to cross the street and Phil was, unsurprisingly, attempting to pet the dog stopped beside them. Its owner looked startled at her dog’s behaviour – or perhaps at Dan’s angry mutterings seemingly to himself. If there was one thing that Dan didn’t like about having a ghost as his boyfriend, best friend, and constant companion, it was looking crazy in public whenever he forgot to be subtle when talking to Phil.

Phil smiled sheepishly and floated through Dan – and damn it, he  _knew_  Dan hated that sensation – to his other side, giving the poor dog some space.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” he said. “When I see a dog I just  _have_  to pet it, you know?”

Dan just rolled his eyes. “Strangest. Ghost. Ever.”

~*~*~

They stopped by Starbucks on the way home, Dan ordering his usual and curling on their littler couch in the corner.

“How does a caramel macchiato taste?” Phil asked suddenly.

Dan looked up from his book – a historical novel about Britain during World War II; Phil loved pointing out the inaccuracies – and said, quite eloquently, “Huh?”

“It’s just,” Phil bit his lip, “I’ve never had one. They didn’t exist when I was still alive and obviously I can’t drink them now, but you seem to like them a lot and I’ve been wondering what they taste like.”

“Um, well… It’s like… warm and sweet and rich, with hints of vanilla. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it just makes me feel cosy and comforted. I’m sorry, I can’t put it into words easily.”

“Oh, alright,” Phil tailed off, looking disappointed. Phil didn’t often angst about being dead – in fact, he was remarkably cheerful for a ghost – but it always broke Dan’s heart when he did.

“Hey,” he said, faking cheer and trying to change the subject, “have you ever thought about spying on the Queen? I know she has great security but I doubt any of the guards are mediums. You can find out if she really does hate Charles or not.”

And just like that, Phil was smiling again. “He’s her son, of course she doesn’t hate him.”

“Well you could find out. I’ve heard she keeps a diary – you should steal it!”

“I’m not stealing from the Queen!”

“But just think of the possibilities!”

~*~*~

By the time they left Starbucks and arrived back at their flat, Dan was on the phone in a heated conversation with one of his well-meaning but stubborn friends.

“No, Chris, honestly I’m fine,” he insisted. “You don’t need to set me up with anyone…. Yes I’m sure Allen is a great guy but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” He fumbled with the keys and Phil floated straight through the door. Lucky undead bastard. “I’m perfectly happy by myself, and I’m not just saying that to avoid sounding pathetic…. Well it’s not my fault if you agreed to the date without asking me first. Just tell him I was being a jerk or something, I don’t really care what a stranger thinks of me.” He had to hold back a cry of triumph as he finally got the door open. “Yes I’m sure. Maybe some other time… Maybe!... Look Chris I have to go, I’ll talk to you later… Yeah, bye.”

Dan let out a heavy, put-upon sigh, kicking off his boots and hanging up his coat.

“Friends trying to find you a boyfriend again?” Phil asked from his spot on the sofa. (Despite his constant presence there, the cushion didn’t have a bum imprint like Dan’s side of the couch did.)

“Unfortunately,” Dan grumbled, joining Phil on the couch. “I wish they’d stop trying. One of these days I’m going to end up blurting out that I have a ghost for a boyfriend, and everyone’s going to think I’m crazy.” When Phil didn’t respond, Dan went on. “Do you think dating you counts as necrophilia? I mean, we obviously haven’t had sex but I feel like legally we might be in the grey.” Phil was still quiet. “Phil? What do you think?”

He turned to look at his still silent boyfriend, and found Phil staring down at his lap – or perhaps the couch; he was fairly translucent after all – with an expression Dan immediately recognised.

“Stop,” he said seriously, and Phil finally looked up.

“What?”

“Stop moping about. I’m dating a ghost, not Edward Cullen.”

“At least Edward has a corporal body,” Phil mumbled.

“I’d much rather date a ghost than an angsty teen vampire,” Dan assured with a fond eye roll.

“But wouldn’t you rather date a human than, well, me?”

“What is with you today?” Dan demanded.  “You’ve been in a mood since our conversation at Starbucks and I hate seeing you like this. No, I wouldn’t rather date a human than you. Why would you even think that?”

“Sometimes I just… I worry you’re going to get sick of having a boyfriend you can never touch, or kiss, or introduce to your friends and family, or go on dates or Starbucks runs with, or do basically anything you could do with a normal boyfriend. Sometimes I think that would be better for you, and I’m holding you back from that.”

“You’re not holding me back from anything,” Dan said with a fierce glare.

“I am, though! Whether or not you admit it, we both know it’s true!”

“Okay, yeah, of course I’d love to be able to hold and kiss my boyfriend and introduce him to my parents – but only if that boyfriend was  _you_. I don’t want anyone else, you spork. I just banished a poltergeist to hell to because I was jealous that he was flirting with you – clearly, I’m not just pity-dating you.”

“I still wouldn’t blame you if you decided to leave me,” Phil said quietly. “Anyone would, in your position.”

Dan gave a heavy sigh. “Phil, I’m going to die eventually–”

“I’m trying to be serious!” Phil interrupted.

“So am I, let me finish. I’m going to die one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe not for sixty years. But at some point I will. And then I’ll be able to hold you and kiss you as much as I want for eternity.” Phil’s lips turned up at the corners and his eyes softened. “In the whole scheme of things, remaining celibate for my last few decades alive is a small price to pay to be with the man I’ll love forever. And while I’m still here, your company is enough.”

Dan placed his hand over Phil’s, and of course it sank right through and sent a chill through his arm, but he smiled up at the love of his life – and death – anyway. “Love is about more than whether or not you can hold my hand.”

It was quiet for a minute, both boys gazing at each other with such loving expressions the average person would be sickened. Until Phil decided to ruin the moment, saying with a smirk, “So you admit you were jealous of the poltergeist?”

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you may be wondering - where did Dan learn the sort of rituals to banish demons and/or poltergeists? Can you say #plothole? Easy - from his grandmother, who was also a psychic and taught Dan everything he knows about the spiritual world, and who’s ghost occasionally stops by for a visit. She positively adores Phil. (Ok I'm just making excuses but w/e.)


End file.
